Biting is a common, though frustrating, behavior in toddlers as they navigate expressing emotions and managing frustrations. It’s something parents often hear about but rarely see at home, with the common phrase: “My child never bites at home.” While it may be uncomfortable to witness or address, understanding why children bite and how to help them manage their emotions can make a big difference in reducing these incidents.
How to Help Your Child at Home
When playing with your child, it’s natural for a parent to hand over the toy when the child tries to take it. However, by gently holding onto the toy, as a friend would at school, you create a valuable teaching moment. This helps your child learn how to play nicely, rather than simply taking things from others. If they attempt to bite, this is a perfect opportunity to guide them on how to manage frustration without resorting to biting.
The Myth of Multiple Toys
A common belief in childcare settings is that providing identical toys will prevent conflicts. But in reality, toddlers often still want the toy someone else has, even if it’s the exact same one. It’s the classic “grass is greener” scenario. When they can’t get what they want, frustration may lead to biting. If the other child gives in after being bitten, it can unintentionally reinforce this behavior.
Why Sharing One Toy Teaches Valuable Lessons
Having only one of the same toy in a group can actually be more beneficial for teaching social skills. It encourages children to share, wait their turn, and ask politely—all essential lessons for reducing frustration-driven behaviors like biting. By guiding children through these situations, we help them build emotional intelligence, which will benefit them in the long run.
A Personal Story
I remember when my own child was in the biting phase. Despite my best efforts, he managed to bite another child on the shoulder while walking through a door—completely out of the blue! These incidents happen so fast, even when you’re paying close attention. And biting phases can show up unexpectedly, as I learned when he bit my husband at the breakfast table years later, at age 12! We still laugh about it to this day.
Moving Forward Together
If your child has been involved in a biting incident—whether they were the biter or the one bitten—please know that we are here to help. We apologize to those whose children were bitten and are dedicated to preventing further incidents. For those whose children are still learning, we are here to support you as they navigate this phase.
At Tomorrow’s Promise Montessori, we believe in fostering an environment where children not only learn academics but also develop critical social and emotional skills. If you have any questions or concerns, don’t hesitate to reach out. We’re in this together!
Kaye Boehning, M.Ed
Founder, CEO
Tomorrow’s Promise, Inc.
2817 Old Houston Rd
Huntsville, Tx 77340